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Sat

What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
There was an Old Man with a owl,
Who continued to bother and howl;
He sat on a rail
And imbibed bitter ale,
Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl.
There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sat on a chair,
With his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who sat on a horse when he reared;
But they said, "Never mind!
You will fall off behind,
You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
There was an Old Man of the coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;
But when it was cold
He relinquished his hold
And called for some hot buttered toast.
There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a chair,
Till he died of despair,
That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
There was a Young Lady of Norway,
Who casually sat on a doorway;
When the door squeezed her flat,
She exclaimed, 'What of that?'
This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
There was an Old Person of Leeds,
Whose head was infested with beads;
She sat on a stool,
And ate gooseberry fool,
Which agreed with that person of Leeds.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
A blonde walked into the dentist office and sat down in a chair.
The dentist said "Open Wide" "I can't" The blonde said. "This chair has arms"
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
In the Garden of Eden sat Adam
Complacently stroking his madam
And he thought with mirth
On the whole damned Earth
There were only two balls and he had ’em.
In the garden of Eden sat Adam,
Massaging the bust of his madam,
He chuckled with mirth,
For he knew that on earth,
There were only two boobs and he had 'em.
Old McDonald's Farm
Old McDonald's Farm Two Army football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?” The other replies, “He had a farm.” The first asks, “How do you spell it?” To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.