Refuse Jokes

"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
My wife showed me two of her motherโ€™s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, โ€œI refuse to make blanket statements.โ€
Cows donโ€™t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
โ€œIn general my children refuse to eat anything that hasnโ€™t danced in television.โ€

- Erma Bombeck.
โ€œYou know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where theyโ€™re going.โ€
โ€”P. J. Oโ€™Rourke
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you canโ€™t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
"I refuse to admit Iโ€™m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
Apparently you can get the Corona virus if your eye touches someone else's eye.
I guess it's a good thing I refuse to make eye contact.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.
I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.
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