Recently Jokes

"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." โ€”Milton Berle
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
Iโ€™ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
Iโ€™m sure itโ€™s saucer โ€˜Eโ€™.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish heโ€™d stop taking sides.
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
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