Recently

I've recently got a job making chess pieces.
I'm mostly working knights.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
I had a colonoscopy recently and believe it or not getting the camera up there doesn't hurt as much as you might think.
It's the crew that's the killer.
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious…
She’s asked me to move out with her.
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.
I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
That recently single dude Martin
told his ex-wife "Since our partin'
I've had women and men
Several geese and a hen
and a Hoover, and that's just for startin'."
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Two florists recently got married.
It was an arranged marriage.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.