My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious. He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich. But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result. Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.