Recently

I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
I've recently got a job making chess pieces.
I'm mostly working knights.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
That recently single dude Martin
told his ex-wife "Since our partin'
I've had women and men
Several geese and a hen
and a Hoover, and that's just for startin'."
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
I had a colonoscopy recently and believe it or not getting the camera up there doesn't hurt as much as you might think.
It's the crew that's the killer.
I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious…
She’s asked me to move out with her.
Two florists recently got married.
It was an arranged marriage.
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
Sign Up for a Free Daily Joke!