Realized Jokes

So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I donโ€™t have yours.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
โ€œI never realized how annoying I could be until I created a miniature version of myself and started arguing with it daily.โ€ โ€” Anonymous
I finally realized why trees donโ€™t have teeth.
Turns out, theyโ€™re all bark and no bite.
The guests were already at the door and we realized we forgot to make dessert. As a last-minute resort, my wife took the skillet, spread some frosting on it and said,
"Pancake".
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.
Got home and realized that I can't use it...
My hands are solid, and opaque.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
โ€œIโ€™m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didnโ€™t understand, she had to explain, โ€˜Thatโ€™s like three Mercedes.โ€™ Then I understood.โ€ โ€“ Brooke Shields
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
โ€œI thought Iโ€™d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.โ€
โ€• Chelsea Handler
I was going to call you beautiful, but then I realized I donโ€™t have your number yet.
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