Post

My friend told me that his birthday was on Halloween. I said “really?” “Yes!” He replied
I responded with “Oh man your parents must have been terrified.”
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How to Get Your Packages
How to Get Your Packages Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch over at Dave’s house when the conversation turns to postal delivery workers. Dave, disgruntled about the subject, says “I order a lot of books to get delivered here daily, but I always get a slip saying that they missed me, even if I’m home to receive them. I’m getting sick of it.” Mick, understanding his frustration, suggests “Maybe you should fight back, complain about it or something.” Dave confidently replies “Don’t you worry about that. I’ve got it sorted today. I’ve put a sign on the front saying that I trade books for paint thinner.” Mick confusedly asks “And how will that solve the problem?” As though on cue, the doorbell rings and a man is heard calling out that he’s with the local postal delivery service, followed by some choice swearing. Dave, nonplussed by the whole situation, wipes his mouth, stands up and says to Mick “Because I covered the front doorstep with super glue.”
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
Why can't the post office put Charlie Sheen on a stamp?
Everyone would be afraid to lick it.