Delivery Jokes

I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”

…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
How to Get Your Packages Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch over at Dave’s house when the conversation turns to postal delivery workers. Dave, disgruntled about the subject, says “I order a lot of books to get delivered here daily, but I always get a slip saying that they missed me, even if I’m home to receive them. I’m getting sick of it.” Mick, understanding his frustration, suggests “Maybe you should fight back, complain about it or something.” Dave confidently replies “Don’t you worry about that. I’ve got it sorted today. I’ve put a sign on the front saying that I trade books for paint thinner.” Mick confusedly asks “And how will that solve the problem?” As though on cue, the doorbell rings and a man is heard calling out that he’s with the local postal delivery service, followed by some choice swearing. Dave, nonplussed by the whole situation, wipes his mouth, stands up and says to Mick “Because I covered the front doorstep with super glue.”
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
MedEx
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
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