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Perform Jokes

Theater Puns
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Zombie Puns
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Tiger Puns
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Nose Puns
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
Thanksgiving Jokes
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?

Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
Crow Puns
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Heart Puns
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
One Liners and Short Jokes
At a recent job interview, the hiring manager
asked me if I can perform under pressure.
I said: "No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody."
Doctor Puns
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
Bible Puns
As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blond hair.
We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.
After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
Fishing Puns
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Water Sports Pick Up Lines
I perform best when I’m wet.
Strawberry Puns
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Pig Puns
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
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