Perform Jokes

A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blond hair.
We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.
After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?

Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
I perform best when I’m wet.
At a recent job interview, the hiring manager
asked me if I can perform under pressure.
I said: "No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody."
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
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