Online Jokes

I accidentally mixed up the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' online.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
โ€œThe worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.โ€
Unknown
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
I have no problem getting dates online. Iโ€™ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
How Much Do You Charge? A man finds himself in need of a good lawyer. He finds one online and goes to his office. After being allowed inside, he sits across from the lawyer. He needs legal help, but he wants to make sure he can afford it first. โ€œCan you tell me how much you charge?โ€ he asks. โ€œOf course,โ€ the lawyer replies, โ€œI charge $800 to answer three questions.โ€ The man was alarmed. โ€œDonโ€™t you think thatโ€™s an awful lot of money to answer three questions?โ€ He inquired. โ€œYes it isโ€, answers the lawyer, โ€œWhatโ€™s your third question?โ€
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
Are you the online order I placed a few days ago? Cause Iโ€™ve been waiting for you all day.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.

She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.

she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.

she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
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