King Hero of old Syracuse had doubts that made him frown. "Perhaps my goldsmith did not use pure gold to make the crown." Since proof of mischief must be strong to put a thief in collar, The king who feared his judgment wrong called on his science scholar. "Archimedes, friend of old, find me the solution! Is my crown pure solid gold, or is that an illusion?" The scholar's task was serious; he struggled hard with math. His mind was near delirious until he poured his bath. He noticed how the water pushed him up as he stepped in. He thought about it harder as he stroked his bearded chin. "The weight of displaced liquid should always let me know When any golden solid has a density too low!" "Eureka!", he resounded. "I have such a clever mind". Yet his claim was unfounded 'cause he left his clothes behind!
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.