Jokes > Tags > Mr

Mr

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
"Straight ahead for a bit then there's a sharp left, so take it slowly." I said.
"The screen is for MY benefit, Mr. Anderson," said the doctor, "and this isn't my first colonoscopy."
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear.
"Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?" she asks.
"No thanks, I'm stuffed."
My ambition, said old Mr. King,
Is to live as a bird on the wing.
Then he climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right.
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.