Move

I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious…
She’s asked me to move out with her.
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Due to the expansive nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner. Move over, anti-jokes. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you might just be a genius!
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems?
En pissant.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
“I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more--that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangn
Why can't pencils move?
Because they are stationery.
Why do travel nurses and boxers get along?
They know how to stick and move.
Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple.
My favorite attractive force is Van der Waal's force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!