Missing Jokes

"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
"Why?"
"Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing."
- Couples Retreat (2009)
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Heaven called, they're missing an Angel.
Babe, the only moon missing is our honey moon.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Are you a Victoria's Secret model? Because heaven's missing an Angel.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
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