Missing Jokes

How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
I saw a flyer about a missing flower, would you call your florist and let him know you are safe?
"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
"Why?"
"Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing."
- Couples Retreat (2009)
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
Are you a Victoria's Secret model? Because heaven's missing an Angel.
Heaven called, they're missing an Angel.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
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