Letters Jokes

The ABCs of Marriage After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her carefully, then said, "You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." "What does that mean?" she asked suspiciously. He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot!" She beamed at him happily and said: "Oh, that's so lovely! But what about I, J and K?" "I'm Just Kidding!" (The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctors are fairly optimistic about saving his genitals).
I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p.e.n.i.s?
The spine.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
The last four letters of 'queue' are not silent
They're just waiting their turn.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
"Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature." —Donatella in Letters to Juliet
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
There are 21 letters in the alphabet right? Oh wait, I forgot u, r, a, q, t.
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
The Bank Robbing Couple Jeff and his girlfriend Jenny decide to become bank-robbers. Jenny does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while Jeff waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught. At trial, the judge condemns Jenny to ten years in prison, while Jeff gets two years. However, once they get to their respective prisons, they discover that due to a clerical error Jeff will be serving ten years and Jenny only two. Despite of her insistence, Jeff convinces Jenny to keep quiet about it. After two years Jenny gets out and she continues to visit Jeff faithfully every month and they exchange letters and phone calls regularly for the remainder of his ten years. Finally, after he does his time, Jeff gets out and is joyfully reunited with Jenny. They get married and move to a different state and start anew, leaving their life of crime behind. They raise a family with children and grandchildren and eventually reach old age, after having lived a happy marriage. On their 50th wedding anniversary party, the entire family and friends are gathered. A great celebration is had, with many laughs and stories, recounting their life together. The conversation turns to the secrets to a happy marriage. One of the guests asks Jenny why she decided to stick with Jeff while he was in prison, despite all of the hardships. Jenny answers: "Well... you know you have found the One when you finish each other's sentences."
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
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