Keeps

In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
My girlfriend keeps saying that a small dick is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she hadn't got one.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
I've invented a machine that prints money.
I programmed it to make coins, but for some reason it keeps printing dollar bills....
It makes no cents.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night:
I'm not letting you out.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there's lots of food,
That's where he'll be found.

He's really good at eating.
It's a talent, I suppose.
I'm sure if he keeps at it
He'd win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn't run to save his life.
Yes, he isn't much fun.

His favourite room's the kitchen.
(I'm sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that's why, with a sigh...

I'd like to tell you, Teacher,
I'd like to tell you straight,
I might have "accidentally" dropped
My homework in his plate.

(By Christian M. Mitewu)
I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny.
But it keeps them on the knife!