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Happen Jokes

Mummy Puns
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Ancient Rome Puns
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
One Liners and Short Jokes
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."
Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
Funny Work Quotes
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
Elf Puns
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly
Funny Aging Quotes
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
Funny Break Up Lines
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
AC Unit Puns
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Book Puns
Every book has some flaws and mistakes, no matter how good the editor. It’s bound to happen.
Sorry Pick Up Lines
Excuse me, do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you.
Astronaut Puns
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Quotes
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Sir Norman Wisdom
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