Gone Jokes

"Humor is reason gone mad."
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
“I gotta warn ya, every man I’ve ever gone out with has been ruined.”
“Well, that’s what they get for messing with my girl.”
- Bugsy (1991)
"You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how."
- Clark Gable, Gone with the Wind (1939)
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
If anyone has any advice for cosmetic surgery that’s gone terribly wrong...
My wife is all ears.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Is your name Scarlett? Because when I saw you my heart was gone with the wind.
I took my pet tiger to my doctor
Because it had a very bad day.
Now, my tiger’s depression is still there,
But my doctor has gone away.

(Barry Stebbings)
Crowing, crowing, gone.
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