Gone

Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.

Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.

It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.

I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

(By Andrew Jefferson)
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
“My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.”
Jimmy Carter
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.

My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”

A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
Then you'd better get back to it before the farmer notices you're gone.