Give

What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Give me some pigskin
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
How do you measure the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys an extra case of beer. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
You're so ugly at Halloween kids give YOU candy.