Free Jokes

What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Donโ€™t sniff at this offer.
Do you use Spotify free? You should join my Premium Duo for all the features.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tomorrow night?
โ€œUndermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.โ€ - Taylor Meade
Do you like free samples?
โ€œAll my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.โ€
โ€• Unknown
โ€œPride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.โ€ โ€“ Anonymous
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephantโ€”
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephoneโ€”
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now Iโ€™ve got it right.)
Howeโ€™er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telepheeโ€”
(I fear Iโ€™d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)
First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator,

bears hide in your bath.

Bunnies,

chimps,

(a duck?),

raccoons.....

run amok through all your rooms!

Soon, if you don't set them free - there will be no room for me!

(Lycia Harding)
While fishing in the blue lagoon,
I caught a lovely silver fish,
And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me free and I'll grant your wish;
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the fancies your mind can hold?"
And I said, "O.K." and I set him free,
But he laughed at me as he swam away,
And left me whispering my wish
Into a silent sea.

Today I caught that fish again
(That lovely silver prince of fishes),
And once again he offered me,
If I would only set him free,
Any one of a number of wishes,
If I would throw him back to the fishes.

He was delicious!!

(Shel Silverstein)
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
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