Free Jokes

While fishing in the blue lagoon,
I caught a lovely silver fish,
And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me free and I'll grant your wish;
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the fancies your mind can hold?"
And I said, "O.K." and I set him free,
But he laughed at me as he swam away,
And left me whispering my wish
Into a silent sea.

Today I caught that fish again
(That lovely silver prince of fishes),
And once again he offered me,
If I would only set him free,
Any one of a number of wishes,
If I would throw him back to the fishes.

He was delicious!!

(Shel Silverstein)
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
Do you use Spotify free? You should join my Premium Duo for all the features.
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)
First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator,

bears hide in your bath.

Bunnies,

chimps,

(a duck?),

raccoons.....

run amok through all your rooms!

Soon, if you don't set them free - there will be no room for me!

(Lycia Harding)
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tomorrow night?
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
Do you like free samples?
On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
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