Feeling Jokes

An oyster from Kalamazoo
Confessed he was feeling quite blue.
For he said, "As a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew."
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
Are you wi-fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Are you the 4th of July? 'Cause I'm feeling fireworks between us.
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
When I see you I get a Dirty, Dirty Feeling so Don't Be Cruel and be my Earth Angel
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
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