Feeling

Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Candice.

Candice who?

Candice be love that I'm feeling?
They said I was an "old fart"
But I hardly think that's true
My boobs were done in '75
But my teeth and knees are new.

And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50 k
And hate to drive at night.

All in all I object to "old"
But "fart" is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I've got fatter.

To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.

So if you're feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!

(By Pamela J. Langdon)
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
I knew I shouldn't have had the sea food.
I'm feeling a little eel.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.