Fear Jokes

What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
A Case of Defamation A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character. He charged that she had called him a pig. She was found guilty and fined. After the trial, she asked the judge: "Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?" asked the woman. The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime. The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson."
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)
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