“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld

Corona Virus Jokes

Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.

Meat Puns

How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)

Mosquito Puns

What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.

Funny Tall People Insults & Comebacks

What’s a tall person’s worst fear? Ceiling fans.

Viking Puns

Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking

Funny Headlines

Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.

Giant Puns

I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.

What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia

A Case of Defamation

A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character. He charged that she had called him a pig. She was found guilty and fined. After the trial, she asked the judge: "Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?" asked the woman. The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime. The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson."

judge pig woman sued call fear true johnson indeed legal action good afternoon defamation of character

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Heart Puns

Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.

Shakespeare Insults

Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy.

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