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Fear

A Case of Defamation
A Case of Defamation A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character. He charged that she had called him a pig. She was found guilty and fined. After the trial, she asked the judge: "Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?" asked the woman. The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime. The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson."
Funny Limericks
If you’re lacking a little good cheer,
Go and tickle a bull in the rear.
For I’m sure that the rumor,
That they’ve no sense of humor,
Is a product of ignorant fear.
There was a young fellow named Weir,
Who hadn't an inch of fear.
He indulged a desire,
To touch a live wire,
And he celebrated by drinking beer.
Heart Puns
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Cookie Puns
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
Romantic Pick Up Lines
If you were a tear drop, I would never cry for the fear of losing you.
Puns
When you’re alone in Germany being approached by a group of old men
You have to fear the wurst.
Chemistry Puns
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Quotes
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
One Liners and Short Jokes
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the Fear of long words.
Anti Jokes
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Rock Puns
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Corona Virus Jokes
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
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