True

How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.

*Baste on a True Story...*
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Stay true to your shelf.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
You know you’re a true 90s kid when you look at your birth certificate and it says that you were born between 1990 and 1999.
Roses are red
that much is true.
But violets are purple
not freaking blue.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.

Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.

It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.

I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

(By Andrew Jefferson)
That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face,
And someone else is in my place!
There once was a man from Peru.
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night.
With a terrible fright.
To find out his dream had come true!
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry