Fair Jokes

What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
Giving me your number sounds like a fair trade.
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
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