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Fair Jokes

Witch Puns
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Football Puns
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Divorce Puns
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
Funny Work Quotes
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Color Puns
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
Utensils Puns
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Weather Puns
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Theater Puns
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Funny Birthday Poems
Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Fairy Puns
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Giving me your number sounds like a fair trade.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
Nuts Puns
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
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