Exercise Jokes

"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
How do males exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
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