Evening Jokes

I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.

The view was NOT worth the trip.
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six,
Grooms itself using its tongue and licks.
I give it breakfast with a friendly pat.
That's the daily morning of my cat.

Returns for lunch at one o' clock.
Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk.
Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat.
That's the daily afternoon of my cat.

Naps after lunch outside my door.
Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores.
Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat.
That's the daily evening of my cat.

Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner.
Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner?
Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat.
That's the daily night of my cat.

(M. Tarun Prasad)
I am lucky we are hiking together this evening.
Are you a pile of soiled dishes? Because I want to spend the entire evening with you.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Aren't you tired? Because you've been galloping through my mind all evening.
Sorry I'm so quiet this evening. You simply took my breath away.
Excuse me, Miss, are you looking for the fairway? Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
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