Eggs

The Rooster and the Farmer's Daughter
The Rooster and the Farmer's Daughter A traveling salesman whose car has broken down goes to the door of the closest farmhouse. The farmer says, "You can spend the night but you'll have to share a room with my daughter." The daughter, a gorgeous 20-something, winks at him over her father's shoulder. "Oh, I don't mind that," exclaims the salesman. "Just one thing," says the farmer. "No funny business. If you touch her, I'll kill you." "Oh no sir," says the salesman. "You can count on me!" Just to be safe, the farmer builds a wall of eggs between the two beds in the daughter's room. To get through, one of them would have to break them. However, In the middle of the night, the salesman can no longer control himself, busts through the eggs and he and the willing farmer's daughter spend some passionate time together. They break all the eggs in the process. When they're done, they spend the rest of the night piecing the eggs back together one by one and rebuilding the wall. They couldn't get the yolks in so they just glued the shells together and threw away the rest, so there was a wall of empty eggs. The next morning, the farmer goes to his daughter's room and takes a couple of eggs to the kitchen to make breakfast. However, all the eggs he tries turn out empty. When the salesman wakes up, he goes down and is surprised to find the farmer staring out the window at his chickens, holding a shotgun. "What are you doing?" asked the man. The farmer continues to stare. "I think one of my roosters is using a condom."
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
I’ve been selected to hide eggs in my town’s big Easter festival next year!
This is an eggs-hiding opportunity!
Son: does Easter Bunny set out 12 eggs in the field to search for?
Dad: no he dozen’t.
Saw what I thought was a large dog coloring Easter eggs.
Turned out to be a dyer wolf.
Why did the Easter bunny fire the duck?
He kept quacking all the eggs.
"We found eggs in a hopeless place."
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
The Trucker and the Waitress
The Trucker and the Waitress A trucker came into a truck stop coffee shop and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon." "Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?" She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.

The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Every Last Detail
Every Last Detail A Canadian tourist is fascinated by the Native American way of life and culture, so he decides to visit a reservation in the United States to find out more. After a long and dusty drive through the Arizona desert, he finally arrives at the reservation. Soon after his arrival, the tourist meets an old chief, who claims to remember everything that ever happened in his life. The tourist is curious and asks the chief: "What did you have for breakfast on your fifth birthday?" Without hesitation, the chief replies: "eggs". The tourist was very impressed by this, and he never forgot the chief’s words, even after his visit had long since ended. Ten years later, he returns to the reservation and is surprised to see the same old chief again. He approaches the chief, puts his hand up flat and greets him with "how". “Scrambled,” the old chief replied.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
A programmer's wife says: "Run to the store, and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.