Easy Jokes

“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
"Whoever says friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"
— Bronwyn Polson
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.

(Joanna Davis)
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
A dog and his bone was on the roam,
Where can I find this bone a home?
Will I bury it next to the tree?
No, too easy for others to see.

What about next to the garden shed?
Maybe in the middle of the garden bed,
Behind the sty where the pigs all are,
What about somewhere right away far.

I think I know what I will do,
I'll just sit down and have a chew,
Tomorrow will be another new day,
I'll find a spot then for the bone to stay.

(John Williams)
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