Done Jokes

“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
You’re like Thanksgiving dinner — delicious, satisfying, and after we’re done, I’ll probably fall asleep.
Hope your Turkey is moist and your stuffing in fluffy and when you're done eating you'll be nice and stuffy.
“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”
– Laurence J. Peter
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"

The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."

The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
"Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?"
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
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