Doing

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student.
I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
What do you call a married man vacuuming? Doing what he's told...
"I'm divorcing my wife. I've had enough, I'm going to leave her."
"Why?"
"She's out every night, going to the bars in town way past midnight and I'm fed up with it".
"What's she doing?"
"She's looking for me!"
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Water you doing?
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”