Doing

Water you doing?
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
What do you call a married man vacuuming? Doing what he's told...
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student.
I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
"I'm divorcing my wife. I've had enough, I'm going to leave her."
"Why?"
"She's out every night, going to the bars in town way past midnight and I'm fed up with it".
"What's she doing?"
"She's looking for me!"
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”