Dig Jokes

"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
Know what? I dig you, really!
You must be Drumheller, ‘cause I totally dig you.
“Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
I dig you a hole lot.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
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