Dig Jokes

"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
You must be Drumheller, ‘cause I totally dig you.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
“Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Know what? I dig you, really!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
I dig you a hole lot.
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