Choose

How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus. A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions...HANDS DOWN. If you force se* on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? you choose.
There four things we simply cannot choose in this life
1. Our parents
2. Our nationality
3. Our physical attributes
4. The Russian president
After Stalin died, he met the angel of death. The angel explained to Stalin he can only send him to hell but he lets him to choose which hell.
"Do you prefer to burn in a capitalist hell or a communist hell?" It asks him.
I choose the communist one because there will surely be a shortage of coal.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
What do the laws of physics and the president of Russia have in common?
You can't choose them.
How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I'd take my last breath to say "I Love You".
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.