Choose Jokes

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
What is age, but something to count?
Some people fight it, like climbing a mount.
I choose to live, with dignity and grace,
And offer a drink, to all in this place.

(Julie Hebert)
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
But it’s what’s in your pants
That I’d like to choose.
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
Girl, are you a train? Because I choo choo choose you.
“I don’t have a lot of friends but I have the best friends because I choose quality over quantity.”
— Unknown
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

- Phyllis Diller.
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children.
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
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