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Chest Jokes

Nuts Puns
The squirrelโ€™s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
Baseball Puns
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Spine Puns
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
Blonde Jokes
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, whatโ€™s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Heart Puns
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
Blond Jokes
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, whatโ€™s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
An elephant slept in his bunk,
And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.
But he snored โ€” how he snored!
All the other beasts roared,
So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.
Hair Puns
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I donโ€™t think sheโ€™ll be able to pull it off.
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
One Liners for Kids
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? Hi Cliff! Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
Funny Parenting Quotes
โ€œ12 weeks old: when your kid is young enough to fall asleep on your chest, yet long enough to kick you in the nuts at the same time.โ€ โ€“ Lin-Manuel Miranda
Funny Limericks
An elephant slept in his bunk,
And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.
But he snored -- how he snored!
All the other beasts roared,
So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.
Nurse Puns
The other day I was lifting weights on the bench press, when I dropped the weight and it fell on my chest. The nurse said I broke three ribs but I would live. Hearing that really lifted a weight off my chest.
Funny Poems
When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:

This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should've watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves this bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains,
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.

I also got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around.

(By Richard Thomas)
Arm Puns
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
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