Burn Jokes

How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
Cooking a Hawaiian pizza and don't want to burn it?
Be sure to cook it at aloha temperature.
If a person would have several friends,
here's the thing upon which it depends;
are you willing to share
when there isn't much there
and burn up your day from both ends.

(By Steve Mckee)
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
You must be one spicy dish because you're making my heart burn.
This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.
Still no matches.
A Blonde at the Burn Ward It's a regular day at the hospital when a Blonde woman comes into the burn ward with both of her ears burnt. The doctor in charge had never seen an injury quite like it. "How did you get both sides burnt like that?" He asked her. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone." "Well that explains one ear," said the doctor, his eyebrows raised as high as they can get, "but what about the other ear??" "Well, I had to call an ambulance, didn't I?"
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
No, they both burn shorter!
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... do I keep the letters?
The trainer said, "If you do push-ups, the sun will burn your back". I replied, "You could say I am the first man on the sun!"
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
I know a fun activity that can burn 500 calories an hour...
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
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