Burn Jokes

How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
I know a fun activity that can burn 500 calories an hour...
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... do I keep the letters?
Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
No, they both burn shorter!
If a person would have several friends,
here's the thing upon which it depends;
are you willing to share
when there isn't much there
and burn up your day from both ends.

(By Steve Mckee)
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
You must be one spicy dish because you're making my heart burn.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Cooking a Hawaiian pizza and don't want to burn it?
Be sure to cook it at aloha temperature.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.
Still no matches.
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
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