Bond Jokes

Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What is a blue whaleโ€™s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Whatโ€™s a whaleโ€™s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What did James Bondโ€™s mom say as she was giving birth?
"Iโ€™ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
"Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." - Anonymous
โ€œMarriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.โ€โ€”Ogden Nash
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
I wish I was an ion, so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
How about we go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
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