Beat Jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue. My heart began to beat when I first saw you.
"You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat."
- Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached (2011)
By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I’d beat thee. Methink’st thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee.
Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.
I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.
Are you into kinky stuff? I'll let you beat me.
We are often greatly bothered
By two fussy little men,
Who sometimes block our pathway –
Their names are How and When.
If we have a task or duty
Which we can put off a while,
And we do not go and do it –
You should see those two rogues smile!
But there is a way to beat them,
And I will tell you how:
If you have a task or duty,
Do it well, and do it now.
Is your name flecainide? Because you just made my heart skip a beat.
Propranolol is red, digoxin is blue. My heart skips a beat when I see you.
You feel like that old book tucked away in a corner – one look at it still makes my heart skip a beat.
"I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."
Honey, are you a drummer? Because you can make my heart skip a beat.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
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