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Ask

“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'”
Sydney J. Harris
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
Mitch Hedberg
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask for directions
As a substitute teacher, I get up every morning and ask myself the important questions in life; Who am I? Where am I going?
And then I check with the school to find out.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What would you call a power failure? A current event.

My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”

A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
You're so ugly when your wife takes you to the beach they ask her what she used for bait.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.