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Pea Puns
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Peach Puns
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Funny Aging Quotes
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook."
Garden Puns
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
4th of July Pick Up Lines
If you ask me if I love you I'll have to plead the 5th. Don't want to incriminate myself.
Nuts Puns
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Language Pick Up Lines
I know the difference between "less" and "fewer," but don't worry, you won't have to ask me for either of them.
Halloween Pick Up Lines
That skeleton over there wanted to ask you for your number, but, unlike me, he didn’t have the guts
I want to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots…
Movie Pick Up Lines
I would ask for Netflix and Chill, but you look like you are into more interactive stories.
Tableware Puns
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
Gnome Puns
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
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