Ask Jokes

What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
I would ask for Netflix and Chill, but you look like you are into more interactive stories.
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook."
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
I know the difference between "less" and "fewer," but don't worry, you won't have to ask me for either of them.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
If you ask me if I love you I'll have to plead the 5th. Don't want to incriminate myself.
That skeleton over there wanted to ask you for your number, but, unlike me, he didn’t have the guts
I want to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots…
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