Amazing Jokes

“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,

About Six-tea years to date,

Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,

her cupious amazing traits

Her balanced demeanour

Her Kindness and (earl) grace,

rooibost sense of humour,

too many to name in this teany space,

to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,

let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,

While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,

It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner." – Ben Bergor
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
You're so amazing that I always use the partitive genitive when I talk about you.
Hello, eh. Girl your soft brown eyes remind me of the amazing beaver, eh.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”—John Grogan
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
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