Already

A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Man to wife, “Blow out your candles and make a wish”.
The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face.
“What’s the matter,” he asks.
“My wish didn’t work.” she replies.
“How do you know already?” he enquires.
“You’re still here.”
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
I've already heard seven cancer puns today.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.
How many men does it take to open a beer? none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
Why are Men like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Henry Kissinger
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
During labor, the nurse came up to my wife and said, “How about epidural anesthesia?”
I said, “Thanks, but we already picked a name.”