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naughty Jokes

naughty Jokes and more.
Halloween Limericks
There once was a Halloween party
All of the costumes there were naughty
I tried to be cute
Wearing my birthday suit
And won the prize for costume most gaudy.

The highlight of the year for dear old Dad

Was Halloween when treats were to be had

His modus operandi

Son you collect the candy

Snickers for me - licorice for you lad.
Mushroom Puns
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Onion Puns
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Gnome Puns
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Werewolf Puns
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Skeleton Puns
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
Elf Puns
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Animal Puns
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Funny Love Poems
Girls!
They protect you!
Mind you, correct you!
In ways you never thought of,
They enslave you, caress you!

You do whatever they say,
Sometimes they confuse you!
Right then it gets real bad,
Misconceptions they kill you!

You give them all,
You’re taken to the mall,
Spend all your money,
Until you fall!

They flirt, tiny skirts!
Eyes blink, you’re alert!
Black magic, their mastered skill!
New guys like contraception pills!

Some naughty, some innocent,
What lies deep inside,
Is the killer sense!
Oh they messed me up!

Damn I now trust this bub,
Sitting here golden cheers!
Girls! Girls! Girls!

(Fiazio)
Girls!
They protect you!
Mind you, correct you!
In ways you never thought of,
They enslave you, caress you!

You do whatever they say,
Sometimes they confuse you!
Right then it gets real bad,
Misconceptions they kill you!

You give them all,
You're taken to the mall,
Spend all your money,
Until you fall!

They flirt, tiny skirts!
Eyes blink, you're alert!
Black magic, their mastered skill!
New guys like contraception pills!

Some naughty, some innocent,
What lies deep inside,
Is the killer sense!
Oh they messed me up!

Damn I now trust this bub,
Sitting here golden cheers!
Girls! Girls! Girls!

(Fiazio)
Christmas Puns
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
Turkey Puns
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Beaver Puns
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
Knock Knock Pick Up Lines
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

Ivan to do something naughty with you.
Watermelon Puns
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
Panda Puns
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Ice Cream Puns
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
The Naughty Baby
A woman is riding the bus while trying to breastfeed her baby. The baby, however, isn't interested. After several tries, the mother is quite angry. "Drink the milk or I'll give it all to the man sitting at the back!" she says. The baby is still playing around. A few minutes later she tries again, "drink the milk or I'll really give it all to the man at the back, and you'll go hungry!" The baby continues rejecting her. She tries again, very angry this time, "I'm definitely going to give it all to the man at the back if you don't behave!" This goes on a few more times. Suddenly she hears a voice from the back of the bus - "Lady will you please make up your mind? I was supposed to get off 5 stops ago."
Monster Puns
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
The Naughty Clerk
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package, pointed to a little old man standing beside her, smiled and said. "Grandpa, pay the man."
Rainbow Puns
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Easter Pick Up Lines
Hi, I'm the Easter Bunny and I don't care if you are naughty or nice!
Christian Pick Up Lines
I can get you off the Naughty List.
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.