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hairy melon Jokes

hairy melon Jokes and more.
Food puns
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Nuts Puns
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
One Liners and Short Jokes
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic
Love Puns
You're one in a melon.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
Marriage Puns
My marriage is slowly turning into a melon farm. I keep hearing Honeydew this, Honeydew that.
Salad Puns
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
The Italian Mama
Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta." says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
Password Puns
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Anti Pick Up Lines
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
Werewolf Puns
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Orange Puns
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
If you think chewbaccas hairy just wait till you see my wookie.
The Blonde and Her Melons
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along. The guy asks, "What are you carrying?" "Melons," the blonde replies. "Cool," the guy says."If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?" The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them!"
Dad Jokes
When is a cow hairy on the inside and the outside at the same time?
When it's stood in the doorway of the barn.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
There once was a hunter named Frawley
Who lived in a shack, outside Raleigh.
His dog, funny but true,
Would only hunt honeydew.
The dog was a true melon collie.

(William Robinson)
Mouse Puns
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
Funny Haiku
I woke up to a funny noise, it went scrape, scrapity, scrape,
It did not sound like flesh or foul, like halibut or hake,
It was the ghost of Long Tom Mouse, a phantom rodent dark,
Who’s haunted every bungalow, from here to Duthie Park.

Some say he met a grisly end at the paws of an old tom cat,
While others say a carving knife sliced him here upon this mat,
But never mind, we have no time for hairy, scary, talks,
His spirit now it is abroad, he creeps, he creaks, he walks!

And on a silver moonlight night when owls do hoot and cry,
Please turn your face o’er to the wall as old Long Tom goes by,
Be sure to leave some cheese and curds, some token of respect,
Or else he’ll haunt your skirting boards when e’re you least suspect!

- Max Scratchamnn
One Liners for Kids
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Funny Love Poems
I love you more than the sun and moon
I loved you since you left the womb
I love you though you are quite hairy
And I never find it scary
Even when you pick your toes
My love for you only grows

(Anonymous)
The Extraordinary Student
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Williams, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Jerry, what's your problem?" Jerry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 5th grade!" Ms. Williams had had enough. She took Jerry to the principal's office. While Jerry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal that this was an exceptionally bright kid. The principal told Ms. Williams he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Jerry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Jerry: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Jerry: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Williams and tells her, "I think Jerry can go to the 3rd grade" Ms. Williams says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Jerry both agreed. Ms. Williams asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Jerry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Williams: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Jerry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Williams: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Jerry: "Pants." Ms. Williams: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?" Jerry: "Coconut." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Williams: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Jerry replied, "Bubble gum." Ms. Williams: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Jerry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Williams: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Jerry: "Firetruck." The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Jerry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."
Mango Puns
‪I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa. ‬
Coffee Puns
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Strawberry Puns
‪I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa. ‬
Blond Jokes
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Revenge of the Melon Farmer
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: "Now there are two!"
Watermelon Puns
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.