Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.
You know you’re getting old when…
happy hour is a nap.
Ladies, if there’s a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family...
it’s Mark Zuckerberg.
For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...
It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.