A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.