“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi