“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.