"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore