"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits