Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?