What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.