What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
He goes up to the bartender and says "A drink please and another for the road."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
"Bone to be wild."
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
My wife bought me an expensive umbrella and she’s been holding it over my head ever since.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.